Heart Health – Word To Your Mothers

In the month of Febuary there are many reminders around your heart — heart health and Valentine’s Day. Even the symbol of the heart is more visible in this month. It’s got me thinking about having a healthy emotional heart and how to maintain that throughout the year; and not just having one month to focus on it.

When it comes to heart health there are signs and warnings that things aren’t going right. Many times we aren’t taking the time to recognize those warning signs until it’s too late. Why do we not stop and consider those little warnings? Why does it take something big, like a heart attack, to get our attention? Is it that we are too caught up in the everyday and think those warning signs don’t matter? Sometimes I wish we had a check-engine light with our bodies, because it would force us to go check out what is wrong. For many, our check-engine light has been on for years. That light matters and means something, but why aren’t we willing to address it? Yes, it might be nothing, but we won’t know until we get it checked out and get the answers we need.

Heart health is more than just the physical workings of your heart. There is also having an emotional healthy heart. Recognizing this in my own life has been transformational. I was walking around for years with a sick emotional heart and I didn’t even know it. I didn’t know it until a dear friend shared with me a way to enter into the true pain on what was going on in the inside. For years the outside looked healthy and happy, but the inside was confused, scared, angry and sad. To have the knowledge of how to enter into those emotions and not deem them as bad or wrong; to know that those emotions can bring a greater healing that needs to happen in my own heart is so freeing. The willingness to unlock something like your heart is altogether so special, very challenging and scary. Having a healthy heart is work and something that is everyday and life-long. When we neglect this area of our lives, we are hurt people walking around hurting others. Most of the time we are hurting the ones we love the most.

I love the book Heart Made Whole, Turning Your Unhealed Pain Into Your Greatest Strength, by Christa Black Gifford. This book has changed my life so much. I also did her six-week master heart series. Christa and her husband Luke have an awesome podcast, too, called, “Heart Made Whole.”

“Imagine what your life would look like if your heart had never been broken,” says Black Gifford. “Now think about how many decisions your broken heart makes every day that cause you more pain. What would your life be like if you stopped avoiding old wounds and let your heart be healed? The condition of your heart determines the condition of your life.”

Then there is “Happy Love Day.” This is what I like to call Valentine’s Day. Oh man, for years this day was a daunting day on the calendar. I remember as a teenager thinking that I needed to have a boyfriend by Valentine’s Day to feel special. At my high school one could buy flowers and balloons for people and have them delivered with a note. Some people would have so many flowers and balloons and others would have little or even none. It was flat-out horrible. I remember having so much anxiety on that day hoping I would get something. Now, nearly 19 years out of high school I can see how ridiculous this was, but in high school it mattered.

I don’t feel that same pressure on Happy Love Day, because I try every day to show people they are loved. Plus, I’ve gained a greater sense of unconditional love and what that truly means to have. But I’ve also learned how to show that love to myself. For years I had this thought that self-care was for other people and not me. Recently, I had this thought we should take the word “self” out of self-care. It’s flat out just care. How have you been showing yourself care? This year, I’ve been learning how to put care on the calendar. When you’re raising humans it’s easy to set that care aside and keep pushing it to tomorrow or the next day and so on an so forth. … Then, one day you wake up and realize you haven’t cared for yourself well. Caring for yourself before you get to this state is so important. Here are a few ideas for care to add into your life:

Detox bath: I’ve been trying to do this once a week. It’s been so relaxing and peaceful. Taking a bath is a great way to process the day.
Reading those stacks of books that sit on your night stand: Take it one book at a time.
Playing an instrument or listening to music: Music has a way of drawing emotions out of us.
Taking a walk in nature: So peaceful and nature grounds us.
Being mindful of what you are eating and drinking: Not talking about a diet.
Journaling, prayer or meditation
A therapy or counseling session: Having a trained therapist or counselor help guide you through some of your struggles. We can’t always do this, ourselves.
Booking out a health care appointment on the calendar. If they are booked you are more likely to go and not keep putting them off.

I could go on and on, but what I really want to challenge you to do is find what care works best for your personal heart health. Don’t just rush over this and write a few things down. Really take the time to see what you need in this current season. When you find what it is. Get it on the calendar and make it a part of your life. Maybe start off with two of the things on your list and then slowly add more.

Before I go please know you are loved and people care for you. Please don’t ever believe the lie that you aren’t. The heart you have been given matters!