NO-THING

In this time in which we are living, it is an abstract art to do nothing. I mean, absolutely positively NOTHING. (Note: This is being written by a multi-taskin’ mama, who’s still learning to be ok with doing nothing. Hence, I started writing this blog this summer and felt like it was a better time to post it in the month of December — in the thick of holiday hustle and bustle.)

Recently, I read the book, “Present-Over-Perfect,” by Shauna Niequist. There are many things that were jumping out at me as I read the words she wrote. It’s like the book perfectly stated where I have been for a few years: Feeling utterly exhausted and in a state of chaos. Now, to most people, I might not have looked that way, but I’ve become good at hiding my true internal feelings.

Niequist explains in the book:

“The important thing is not how much I did this year, or how many trips I took-for fun or for work-or how much the baby did or didn’t sleep (although didn’t is the operative word). I want to tell you all those things. I want to make a case for why I’m so tired. I want to run you through the list, partially because I want you to feel it, to feel as tired and as glazed and undone as I feel.”

There are times in life where we need to physically and mentally do nothing. This is so much easier said than done. You must create time to actively sit, listen, be quiet and create space to process.  There is a difference in doing nothing and simply distracting yourself. It is healthy to have both, but more times than none we run to the distraction. Distracting is just a facade to really needing time to do nothing. It’s way easier and comfortable to fall into distraction. Watch a movie, be on social media, find a random drawer in your house to clean, lol! (Ok, maybe not that.)

Doing nothing at times can feel non-productive. We start to feel guilty — that we SHOULD be doing something. Especially around the holiday season we take on so many “shoulda(s).” Don’t get me wrong, many holiday traditions are deeply rooted and built on special memories. But maybe there are seasons where we take a break, don’t do every tradition, then bring them back when you actually feel joyful and you have the time and energy.

How do you know when it’s time for nothing? You dread most things. You feel like you can never come up for air or rest. Life feels like one rollercoaster after another. Your to do list is longer than your forearm. I admit that I love a good to-do list.

Here’s a timely passage from “Present-Over-Perfect:”

“I know. I don’t like it either. ‘Yes’ is fun and sparkly and printed on tote bags. ‘No?’ What if you saw someone wearing a sweatshirt that just said, ‘no?’ I do not want to sit next to that bundle of fun. But NO became the scalpel I wielded as I remade my life, slicing through the tender tissue of what needed to go and what I wanted to remain. My mentor’s words rang in my ears: Stop. Right now. Remake your life from the inside out. I don’t know a way to remake anything with out first taking down the existing structures, and that’s what no does-it puts the brakes on your screaming-fast life and gives you a chance to stop and inspect just exactly what you’ve created for yourself, as difficult as that might be.”

So wear NO-THING with honor! Create time and space for nothing. Not only for yourself, but your family. Teach family and friends how to do nothing. When you have said too many yesses, know when you need to say, no.  Do it and don’t feel guilty or wrong. It really isn’t our responsibility to make the magic happen during the holiday season. The memories will come and things don’t need to be perfect. You aren’t gaining anything by leaving yourself depleted, unrested and exhausted. It might sound strange but seek to gain nothing!