School Days

It’s that time of year. Many of you are doing your final prep and getting your little and big humans ready for school. Some of you are in school prep mode — for your little one AND you — for  the first time. Emotions and feelings abound during this uneasy transitional time.

I can remember so clearly the first time my husband and I dropped off our oldest to Kindergarten.  New uniforms, new backpack, new lunch tote, new school, and new teacher. I saw the tears well up in his eyes because he knew something was different about that moment; it was different than preschool drop-off, it wasn’t just a couple hours. … We were all experiencing the newness of that day and it was exciting, scary and sad. I kept telling myself to keep it together — for him. We held his hand and reassured him that he was safe, and that everything was going to be ok. In my mama heart I hoped what I told him was true and he wouldn’t run home and tell me something different.

Then, the school bell rang and it was time. …

Time to let go of his hand. In that moment I lost my breath. Five years had suddenly gone right by with our son. Where did the time go? I didn’t want to let his hand go. In the moment I thought, “Had we done enough to prepare him for this?” You really don’t know until you let go of that little hand.

But we did in fact let go. I walked as fast I possible could to the car with my husband following.  Sitting in the front seat, I lost it and cried so hard.  It was like crying five years of tears in one morning. I had to trust … like I had never had to trust before; trust that others would care and love for him as much as we do.  My husband and I embraced one another and talked about the many things we loved about our son. We expressed the joys and different sorrows that we had gone through in the five years of his life.

Later that day I picked him up from school. There were no tears in his eyes, just a smile on his face. That big first day wasn’t so unknown anymore and we all made it through!

Now, as my oldest enters fifth grade this fall there certainly have been many joys and challenges in his school days. More apparent than the educational lessons learned are all the life lessons lived through and learned — for all of us. When our little guy has come home frustrated, sad, happy, tired and excited, it’s all something to work through and celebrate together. One constant for me has been to ask him everyday, “What is your favorite thing you did today?” And I love hearing his response and what the different days bring.

What might be your routine to enjoy through all the transitions upon transitions?

I can’t imagine the mess I will be when my oldest transitions to his next big step after graduating high school. For me, that will be a whole bigger step in letting go. I know many of you are being faced with this right now. I want to say that I see you being brave, strong and understanding for them in this time. Trust, … trust they’ll take with them all that good teaching from teachers and you alike, and that they will run to you when they need you. That you will always be that safe place for them to fall apart or lift up. And trust that they’ll blossom into adulthood.

This time of year always makes me very reflective of my own school days. Imperfect but appreciated as they were, I grew up in a small town and our community school was a very special experience that many will never go through. In K-12 I had many amazing teachers: they poured their hearts into students in seeing them succeed; but small-town schooling also had its many challenges — lack of resources, facilities and specialists. Fortunately and unfortunately, small class sizes meant one student’s circumstance didn’t go unnoticed.

Early this summer I got to see my elementary school reading teacher for the first time in years!  She was also my softball coach in junior and senior high school. We had a special bond.  I struggled with reading and she was always so patient and kind to me despite my obstacles of learning how to read. For years after high school, I always wanted to express how much I appreciated her kind heart and ability to make me feel special. Getting the surprise encounter with my teacher-coach this year felt like it was meant to be. I gave her the biggest hug and was able to share my thanks and thoughts. She met my husband and children and it felt so complete and good.

I could go back and thank so many other teachers and coaches that helped shape and guide me. Maybe there is a teacher you have been wanting to reach out to and say, thank you. … All I can say is do it! Teachers sometimes never know the full impact they have on their students. Maybe the words you want to share will help encourage them to continue in a career that at times feels very thankless.