The great expectation!

We are currently flying back home from a Florida vacation. This was the first time flying with both of our kids. For the most part, everything went smoothly. The getting packed and ready part was probably the most exhausting of it all. It didn’t help I got sick the night before the trip. So, fear overcame me – was thinking that we wouldn’t even be able to go. We looked ridiculous through the airport. Two checked bags, two carry-ons, two backpacks, two car seats and a stroller. Cue the dog and pony show. It was so funny watching the people watch us. We were truly a zoo exhibit.

As an aside: TSA is not family-friendly. Enough said on that!

This trip was part enjoy the beach and ocean, part be with close friends. The ocean part is where my expectation was and what I pictured most. The ocean has a special place in my heart. I can close my eyes and see the water and instantly feel peace. It’s hard to describe, but it’s a safe place for me. Believe me, it’s not the excitement of getting in a swimsuit or getting a super tan. I’m 100% Scandinavian, we don’t tan. Maybe it’s the fact that this place is so much bigger than me and so beautiful; that all you can do is feel grateful for its beauty and wonder.

Where we live, in the tundra of Minnesota, we’re landlocked and have winter sixth months out of the year. We hearty winter people NEED these type of breaks.

Anyway, the night before leaving – after most of our bags are packed – I look at the weather and a cold front is moving into FL during the time we will be at the ocean. Ugh, what? So I unpack and repack, adding some warmer choices, but I’m sad that it won’t be ideal weather. It was the start of my great expectation starting to unravel.

The day we arrived, I envisioned throwing our bags down, getting our beach gear on and sitting there for hours watching our boys fall deeply in love with the place I love most.

Well, it was cloudy, super windy and a chill was in the air. It was too cold to put on swimsuits. We still went to the beach, though. Our oldest son had seen the ocean four years ago but didn’t remember it much. Right away, even in the cold and wind he enjoyed it! Put his feet in the water and ran down the beach. To see that sheer joy on his face I will never forget. At the same time, our almost 2-year-old was crying and seriously hating everything the ocean and beach brought. Right away, my heart got sad. I wanted him to love it so much! Well, we have three days, I though, he will start to love it, right?

Each day saw a little warmer weather, less wind and more sunshine; but still, our sweet Bernard didn’t love the beach or ocean. He called it, “Messy.” All the senses were too much for him. The sadness got stronger each day for me. I was trying my best to make the most of it, but it was hard when it wasn’t what I had pictured.

I kept telling my husband and boys I was so sorry that the weather wasn’t perfect. Like I can have control over Mother Nature. My husband, laughing, said, “It’s not your fault.” But in my heart it felt like it was.

How many times do we take things on that are not our fault? But because of our expectations we make them our fault. How can we start off with low expectations and then be surprised when things go better then we pictured? Truly, I’m not sure and feel like this is a work in progress in my own life — especially as a mom.

Can we turn our great expectations into just expectancy? Let it be what it’s going to be and truly not put the blame on us?

This vacation taught me so much and we came home encouraged and truly did enjoy our time away. So my great expectation has turned into gratefulness. We got time as a family in the place I love most. We saw three amazing sunsets that warmed my soul. We felt the salty wind in our face and smooth white sand in our toes.