The Why

Sometimes it’s challenging when people ask me why: “Why are you starting something new (like my podcast)?” Or, “Why do you want to be a speaker?”

The why is clearly defined to me — in my heart and mind; but it’s challenging to explain my “why” in the right words so others understand.  It’s not that I need their approval, but we all know it feels better when others affirm your thoughts, actions or ideas. Affirmation seems especially encouraging when the why is connected to a long-held dream — and all the more encouraging when you’re a full-time mom.

I’ve always been a dreamer, which I’ve talked about before in other blog posts. When I was a little girl, I idolized the country singing group The Judds. And when Wynonna Judd went on her own, she became my singing idol. I would listen to their music for hours in my room, dreaming and wondering what it would be like when I, too, would some day be a country music star. That dream and desire is still very vivid in my heart, because I believed with all my heart that it was going to come true. A lot of years and hard work went into that pursuit.

Although that specific dream has not come to fruition, I did have a long run as a professional performer in musical theater and today I use my singing talents in the local church. It’s not exactly what I’d imagined, but my “dream” (and yes, my “why”) shifted as I grew and I got a better understanding of my talents, abilities and opportunities.

Dreams shift, evolve and grow. You don’t always have to explain the why behind all of them. And you don’t have to stop dreaming when you become a mom! The most important thing, I believe, is to keep dreaming and reminding yourself why you’re striving to make a dream come true. Maybe no one has ever gave you permission to do so. Or maybe you told yourself that because you’re a full-time mom now, ain’t no time for dreaming. Well, I am here today to say, DREAM!

Why? Well that’s totally up to you! You’re the only one who can truly justify the sacrifices you make to realize dreams — however big or small. Maybe you have dreams sitting in a virtual closet and you think, “Oh well, it was just a dream.” No. Go dig them out and see what it brings up inside of you. Whether they bring up grief, fond memories or begin a new “why,” you need to get them out of the closet so you can move on. At the very least, it’s a way to discover your why.

We have a few days left in 2019 and this year has undoubtedly been another year of dreams — coming in all sizes. It would be easy to dwell on what didn’t happen. In fact, as I’m  sitting here writing this — not feeling well and frustrated that I pushed myself too much around the holidays — I can drift toward feeling that I’m not finishing strong. But, then I read over my goal task sheet for December and it states,” Embrace Rest.” Well, I guess I’m achieving that in the last few days of 2019, as I’m resting and recovering.

Thinking back to 20 years ago when I was a senior in high school, I had so much anticipation going into the year 2000. I would graduate high school, move to another state, and join a drama ministry, where I would be traveling all over America. Fast forward to 2010, when I was one year into motherhood, I had faced so much change and I wasn’t confident in my new main role. My children have changed me more than I ever thought, though. Change that I’m grateful for every day. There have been really hard days in this role, but I for sure know I’ve grown in my confidence a little each year as a mother and now I anticipate new adventures that lie ahead as a mom.

Now, going into 2020 that specific anticipation is more about the unknown. With age and time I’ve grown more comfortable with the unknowns of life. The known is I have a loving husband that is very supportive and kind. And I have two sweet, beautiful boys that call me “Mama” and make my heart  happy.

Do I have high hopes and dreams for 2020? Sure do. I hope my podcast continues to grow. I hope to speak at more events and to more groups. I hope more people want to purchase Word To Your Mothers merch and help me spread the word (wink, wink, hint, hint, LOL)!

So, maybe you are a few months, a year or 10 years into a role; or maybe you’re contemplating a new role. Reflection of the overall role and how it’s transformed you is important.

So don’t worry  defining the “why” to others or justifying your dreams. They can be defined in you without people understanding them.  A lot of my whys of today — singing in worship, podcasting and speaking in front of people — are still tied to being a country music singer. My dream of singing with Wynonna Judd still remains, and, who knows?, maybe one day that dream will come true. I probably will believe in this dream for forever.

Farwell 2019, Hello 2020!